“It’s not about the numbers.”
And I cannot begin to count the number of times I have heard that.
I have been an ordained, full-time minister for over thirty years. I have worked for two independent organizations. I co-founded and led my own spiritual community for several years. I worked as an itinerate lecturer, workshop leader, and counselor. I have been in my current position of Senior Minister of a Unity for well over twelve years.
I am blessed to know that what I do is truly what I am meant to do. I have a degree of talent. I have years of education and experience. I have dedication and a passion regarding sharing spiritual principles that I know are transformational when they are practiced and applied.
What I never have done is draw large numbers of people.
“It’s not about the numbers.”
I have a moderate attendance in my current spiritual community. I have a small number of followers on my blog list and my social media platforms. I have never been a “big draw.”
And…” it’s not about the numbers.”
The two primary metrics used for ministerial evaluation are number of attendees and money raised. That feels cold and calculating, I know. And there is a reality in our finance-driven culture that is the foundation for those metrics.
If my talent, experience, education, and passion do not equate to enough congregants to keep the lights on my tenure comes into question. The Light I may emit does not pay the light bill.
I am blessed to work for a board of directors who see beyond only those two cold metrics. They understand that many things have happened both personally and collectively that have contributed to our current level of attendance. They share with me that the quality of my message should be bringing in far more people than we currently see.
And they assure me that “it’s not about the numbers.”
And so, it has been and continues to be a dance within me between what I express and how it is received. What I dedicate myself to and how many choose to partake. I speak, share, write, and connect with a high level of passion. I put great amounts of energy into what I create and share. That is consistent whether there are fifty or five hundred participants.
It will surprise no one who knows me that I am very human. I have devoted my life to spiritual awakening, and my adventure in that pursuit has been bumpy and flawed. I believe that it is inspiration and dedication that has fueled my work for all these years. Yet it is the bumps and the flaws that has shaped the message into something relatable. Usable.
It is the human part of me that sees dwindling numbers and media engagements and feels a level of sadness and disappointment. I give it my all, and sometimes it feels deflating to hear that it’s not about the numbers while it feels that what I am giving is in ways so much about the numbers.
It feels like it is about the numbers.
I am sure that those who have read this far could give me any number of truisms as to why I should not feel this way. I can layer the same interpretations onto myself.
In an age where a large percentage of our population is collecting followers and numbers of likes it is a tough road. Yet I have dedicated myself to learning as much as I can from my experiences with it. While I aspire to live beyond numbers and followers, I am not fully there yet. And there is a perspective that is leading me through this landmine field of hurt and disappointment.
I am crystal clear that the work that I do is inspired and directly tied to my purpose. And so, the number one person that I need to answer regarding my work is the one who is typing these words. I daily listen to my guidance, and I produce the best quality of work that I can.
And while I am the one I answer to, I do not output for myself. I do it to connect to you. To touch your heart. To inspire and move you. To hopefully uncover something in you that you need to see. I am a messenger and I pray that you will receive my message and that it will make a difference in you life.
So, all of this is to say that I don’t believe the cliché that “it’s not about numbers. It is. But it is not about volume or income.
For me, you are my number. The message is about you. I speak to groups, yet I really speak to one person at a time. I put it out there, and I put it out there to you. To the one person who may need to glean something from what I am sharing.
You are my number one.
While I am clear that my style isn’t for everyone, I trust that it will be right for the person drawn to hear or read it. I have never claimed to be the best at what I do. But I am the best for the person who needs what I have to give.
As long as one person is listening and reading and benefitting, I will keep at it. I will keep giving the best of my love and trusting it will reach the heart it is meant for.
It’s not about numbers.
It’s about you. It’s just for you.
