I have never considered myself a powerful person.
I still do not.
Yet, I am seeing how that correct perception regarding personal power creates an opening that allows a Power that is not of me to be used in service of something greater than me.
That was a mouthful.
I have long known that my lack of personal confidence has been a gift and not a curse. While I am internally directed in ways that feel intuitively right for me, I do not operate from a place that thinks I know what I am doing. It has and remains odd to me that I have almost always been in positions of leadership throughout my life. I have assumed that leaders are people who know what they are doing and are confident in leading others in those ways. I perceive leaders as being in touch with a power that followers usually are not. I do not resonate with leaders who operate from a perspective of power over others. I believe really good leaders come from a place of power with those they are privileged to lead. Having said that, both come from a place of how power is employed and managed.
And I have never considered myself a powerful person.
The fact that I am not a powerful person is irrelevant in that I know how to access a Power that is greater than my personhood. And as I allow that Power to lead me, I place myself in a position to lead others.
I do so imperfectly. I make frequent mistakes. I have regular power outages. My power signal flickers in the busyness of a day and in reaction to when others are misusing their own power. I feel a vacancy, a subtle weakness. It does not take me long at this point to recognize these symptoms and to know I need to plug back into the Power that is not of me but is always available to me. Not trying to power through my weakness with synthetic control and domination I instead rejoin the inner net that gives me access to the Ultimate Power.
And I do this multiple times a day.
I do this multiple times a day because I know I am not a powerful person.
There is a Power that is given that is within all of us. It is the Power of Source, the Power of all of creation. It is the Power of One. It is the Power of the One. This Power is beyond and bigger than the ego power structure. It is vaster than the power of the separated self. It is a Power that is always seeking to be known and used for the good of the greater whole. It is not self-interested or self-generated. An inalienable aspect of this Power is freedom. As beings of dualistic consciousness, we are free to try and control and thus misuse a limited version of this power. It is akin to power 2.0. Tapping into the true Power of Source is like tapping into Power 7K. We can tell the difference based on how it feels in our bodies and energy systems. We can tell which system we are plugged unto based on how much force we are needing to apply. By how much control we are exerting. How much resistance we are having to slug through. There is a sense of ease when moving with the One Power. There is a sense of struggle when attempting to go it alone.
Mastery is never about impacting power over others or outer situations. Mastery is about learning how to meet circumstances with a sense of personal empowerment. Mastery is about deeply understanding that of ourselves we can do little. Mastery is celebrating that understanding and also knowing that we are never of ourselves. Life is a Power that is within us. We do not make it happen. We cannot control it. We can simply choose to attune to it and cooperate with it. And in the realm of duality, it is a moment-by-moment choice.
Occasionally someone will tap into my lack of personality strength and set out to manipulate or even bully me into getting something they want. They apply their own sense of misconstrued power over me. Then they are surprised to find out I cannot be easily manipulated or bullied. In fact, it is rare that I am manipulated at all. I sense the program that is running, and I tap into my Greater Power Source and then stay true to what feels right for me. I can be thrown off of center, but I do not remain that way for long. I come back online. I open to the Power that is always given. I follow the flow. I do not fight. I do not need to. The Power of the Universe is my Source of strength.
I do not consider myself a powerful person.
I am, however, an empowered person.
There is a Power that is Given, and It is my personal operating system. It is my personal and intimate GPS. As long as I follow It, I am never lost. When I lose touch, I plug back into what is actually never disconnected and I am instantly course-corrected. If I am called to lead I only do so from a place of knowing I am led. I am currently the lead car in a carpool heading Home. If I do not follow my GPS, we could all needlessly detour. When it is time for another driver to lead the pack, I will know it, and my Power will lead me to the next right way of service. It is one thing this unconfident person is greatly confident about.
While I used to long to be confident and strong like so many others I saw I now live in a state of gratitude that I know my sense of powerlessness is actually my super-power. My lack of personal power is an opening for authentic Power to flow through. Whenever I feel weak, I know right where to go for strength. I know how to power-up by tuning in.
There is a Power Greater that is Given, and it is not me.
There is a Power Greater that is Given, and it is indeed within me.