Monday, May 31, 2010



There is a special sacred place in the mountains of North Carolina that sooths my person and renews me in my Soulfulness. It is the tiny community of Montreat, several glorious acres that the Great Spirit has scooped out of the Black mountain range, and where the hush is as vibrant as any symphony you’ll ever hear. There is a Presbyterian retreat center, a tiny college, a pond masquerading as Lake Susan, a number of personal weekend and group lodgings, and a chapel I have spent many a silent hour within. It is called The Chapel of the Prodigal Son, and while as a physical structure it is relatively new, there is an ancient energy within its walls that captivates my heart as it inspires my contemplations. I have many a time climbed the steep staircase into the heights of the balcony, settled myself into the very last pew, and then exhaled my body into a submissive inner sigh. Though it is a building open to the public, there is seldom a sound save the beating of my heart. I love to first close my eyes and center myself into the feeling of home this prayerful place invokes. Then I open my eyes and my inner being to begin and take in the ceiling to floor fresco that is the back wall of this chapel on a hill.

I feel within me as I see before me a magnificent representation of the Biblical prodigal son as he has just returned to his fathers’ estate. This young man had asked and been granted his inheritance prior to his fathers death, which he promptly squandered in “riotous living.” After a stint of feeding pigs yet practically starving him, the sacred writings say that he “came to himself.” He remembered that he still had a living father that had great wealth beyond what he had been bequeathed. He trusted that though he had acted unconsciously and very unskillfully, his father was the kind of parent that would at some level welcome him back into his home. He goes back to the estate of his birth, and while he is yet a long way off, a servant informs his father that his wayward son is approaching. His father runs to meet him, forgetting and completely forgiving the young man of his earlier transgressions. He hugs and hovers over his exhausted son, attending to his aching physicality and bruised emotionality.

I need not elaborate on the spiritual lesson to be found in this ancient parable. The Source of all we are is always moving toward us experientially as we “come to ourselves” in remembrance of our birthright. It seems to be coming to us, for in It we are forever contained. It is our awakening to that Truth that brings to us the deep feeling of coming home.

While I have at many times felt like that wayward son, it was on a dark and rainy afternoon in the heights of that chapel that a startling realization came to me. This internal aha washed over me like a warm wave of comforting water. I realized that though I had spiritually enjoyed the feeling of being the son being met by the forgiving father, the time had come in my own sacred emergence to step into the role of father for my own internal rebellious boy. Though I am forever Sourced, contained, and a part of the First Cause masculine Principle, I must step into a role of empowered choice while here in this earth realm. I must actively engage my own Divine Will in terms of choosing which identity I will serve. Though I have squandered the inheritance of a Law that works in every whit for my favor, I must forgive that unconscious part of me in order to mature into a higher choice. I must run to meet the story identified Taylor, the one who seeks to outrun the demands of evolving beyond what I have been in the past. If I have spiritually starved, it is only been because I have made choices which do not feed. If I have lost myself in my own version of riotous living, it is me who needs to stop the mental story telling and the deadening behaviors. It is me who needs to father the son, in order to Know the Source.

Perhaps this story is more meaningful to me because I did not have a father to run to me in my fearfulness or to welcome me in my return. This hole in my experience had previously left me longing for that fatherly relation. The patriarchal God of my Biblical past filled that emptiness for awhile. Yet it certainly has its own limitations. But what occurred to me so profoundly in the compassionate embrace of that back row pew is though I long identified with the plight of the prodigal son, it was the prodigal father within myself that I needed to come to. I was the father that was missing in my experience. It is my turn now to run to that fatherless boy, and to welcome him home into this relentlessly loving heart. In the sentiment of that parables ending; I may rejoice now, for I was lost, and now am found. I was dead, yet now I live.


Monday, May 17, 2010


As I heartfully walked beside my beloved neighborhood lake, I came across a most gleeful sight. A mother and an approximately ten year old young girl were teaching a little rambunctious boy how to take what were apparently his first, wobbly steps. What a study in determination and affirmation! The two would stand the little fellow up, steadying him as best they could before walking several steps away. They would then coax him toward them, joyfully cajoling and applauding his every step. When he would plop down on his diaper-padded bum, they would both enthusiastically chant “UH-OH!” The little champion would then try and try to contort himself into a standing position, all the while hearing a chorus of encouragement and adoration.

I truly believe that we live within a Field of adoring attention that is treating us in just such a way. We are still wobbly in our use of self-reflective consciousness, and we are feeling the effects of many falls and many tumbles. As opposed to the experience of my little lake-side friend, we are mis-creating with often devastating consequences. This is true at the individual and at the macro-level. As adult as we may think we are, we are still infantile in our use of Universal Law. We speak endlessly of what we do not wish to experience. We speak ill of ourselves, and of those around us. We focus our energizing attention in and on areas that become our reality, and then we blame it on others, circumstances, even fate. We stumble and fall into the same holes of our consciousness, and never realize we simply need to take a different path. And yet there are Beings surrounding us that exclaim compassionately “UH OH,” and silently coax and direct us in ways that serve our highest good. They endlessly speak of our innate perfection, yet we cannot hear them above the roar of our own self-recrimination. Our ego selves struggle and contract and contort, when all the while the Highest of our Being is offering a way of comfort and of ease. While falling is a part of every Soul’s evolution, there is a time for simply staying put until the heart reveals that it is time to rise again and move on forward.

And how, dear reader, do you speak to you when once again you hit the ground? Is it in tones of awe and affirmation? Are you applauding the wins and the gains of your life? Are you being the loving embrace you are moving toward? Inner atmosphere is everything! Recognizing what you saying to yourself about yourself gives way to a revolutionary choice: the choice to truly be the uplifting Presence that champions each and every moment of this grand adventure in Sacred Emergence. It is the choice to compassion every pain, and to affirm every moment of overcoming. Make no mistake; there is still a little toddler in us all that needs that quality of attention. It needs the encouragement, the attention, and the affirmation. We never lose the need for that. Being able to give that spaciousness to ones self is a huge leap in spiritual development. Having the inner-fortitude to own when we have stumbled and that we have indeed fallen- and to still remain a place of loving embrace is truly the only way to move forward in this journey. It is as if we are being coaxed by and moving toward the most loving and affirmative part of ourselves. The wisdom of the Highest Self is lovingly holding out It’s hands to the still wobbly personality self. In the Light of that love and encouragement, we cannot help but learn to stand tall and walk proud.

So the next time you “UH-OH,” be sure to give yourself an inner “AWE-YES!” Applaud your wins and compassion your losses. It’s all part of learning to walk the earth as the conscious co-creators we are here to be.


Monday, May 3, 2010



I recently had what for me is a rare opportunity to be around a nine-month bundle of beauty, blessedness, and bliss; a gorgeous little girl named Helana. This was at a gathering where there were many older adults, and then this one fresh from the ethers beautiful baby who rapidly became a center of attention. At the very first glance of this gleaming cherub I could feel my heart gushing open with the universal-to- baby response of “AWE!” Isn’t that just the perfectly appropriate instantaneous proclamation? I witnessed gleefully as person after person approached Helana with the very same exclamation: “AWE! “ If every other individual in the room were a perfect chorus of AWE, her mother was the absolute embodiment of this heart-opening resonator. “Awe, Awe, AWE!” We know now scientifically that the vowel sound of AWE literally causes the heart energy center to open. Isn’t that amazing and miraculous? I believe that when we see a baby or a child, the heart opens in response to the recognition of the innate purity and innocence that is so evident in them, and yet equally true of us all. While the AWE is in response to this recognition out there, we can use this knowingness to live in continual remembrance in the heartful “in here.” If seeing the innocence of a baby evokes an internal AWE, why not invoke this innocence at every opportunity by aligning with the sound of AWE in every present moment? By consciously using this heart-opening intonation, we live in a perpetual state of Awe, innocence, and beauty. And I am all for that. Thanks, Helana.

As May is the month of celebrating mothers, I am particularly glad to have had this very tangible reminder of the power of Awe. I believe at a level that we live within a Cosmic-Mama energy that is proclaiming “Awe” in her every moment of beholding creation. While it is often trauma and tragedy that is in her sights, she compassionately Presences all that she sees by embracing heartfully all that she is. In Sanskrit, the word for mother is AMMA. Isn’t it telling that there is a double dose of this heart-opening exclamation in the name of the Universal AMMA? We are held tenderly and eternally in the warm embrace of our AMMA-Source. That is the compassionate context in which we dwell. It is the background for all that occurs. In these times of mind-identification, we lose the intimacy of what may only be experienced with and in the heart. To live consciously and wakefully in the AMMA Presence is to taste deeply and intimately the unconditional love that is true life. While Source is both Masculine and Feminine, Father and Mother, we are here in time and space to actually and literally be Mother to First-Cause Father Source. This is done not by masculine assertion, but by feminine receptivity. Like the song lyric suggests, when we “find ourselves in times of trouble,” it is not the time to run around trying to control. It is the perfect opportunity to truly and heartfully “let it be.” That is the wisdom of the Mother. That is the nurturance of AMMA. Sometimes, we just need our mom. The Universal AMMA is always here. It is closer than breath. It is nearer than a heartbeat. It is evident in the sound of Awe.

At any time, relax open and in-tone the AMMA-Awe. Sink down deeply into It. Let it envelope you as you embody It. Align within it, and Awe your Inner-being. Awe all that is around you, and open to everything that is within you. The wisdom of AMMA is here and now fully present. Entrain with Its Innocence, and behold a world of Peace. Awe the baby in us all, and know what Love is all about.