Tuesday, December 31, 2019


I am here to redeem the in-between in 2019.

Be careful what you pray for.

Though I have never much cared for that former later statement I must admit that sometimes it feels true.

I have for many years selected a theme to guide me through my calendar years. I do so by praying into my Highest Self and by seeking to align with what is seeking to know itself in me. I have become better and better at recognizing the orchestration that ensues from my affirmative theme. This is one of the reasons I am absolutely sure that the Universe is always listening and always responding to what we align and open to. I know that I know that I am always being guided into my Highest and best expression. I am always being shown what I need to see, hear, release, and become. This guidance is foolproof, which I personally need as I navigate this world of chaos and misperception.

So, this year’s theme arose quite quickly out of a meditative process in November of last year. I was actually praying into what would be an appropriate and timely theme for the community that I lead. I do not necessarily have separate touchstones for my individual and collective directions. They always compliment each other. But on this day I was specifically praying into the banner for our Unity Center.

I am here to redeem the in-between in 2019.

Okay, I will go with that.

I could instantly feel a trajectory flowing forth from the statement. In more traditional language I might call it the Trinity. It is Source, leading to Sourced, leading to Sourcing. It is Principle, leading to personal, leading to shared. I could state it in a myriad of ways. I trust you are catching the drift.

I am always living in the in-between. I always have the opportunity to be aware that I am In Source, having a personal experience, and then choosing to relate to the out there in a particular way. This dynamic is true in each and every moment. Though we may be asleep to it, it is always active. To awaken spiritually is to awaken to the choice point of the present moment. To choose how to relate, and thus to choose what we contribute to the moments of our lives and to the entirety of the world.

We all fall asleep at times. We all go unconscious. We all fall prey to our reptilian nature and react in ways we later regret. It is part and parcel of the human condition. If we accept this and allow contrast and regret to be our teacher this reactivity becomes a precious though ruthless taskmaster. We are invited to see that the world is always a reflection of our own consciousness. Life is mirroring for us what we most need to see. It is showing us, via external conditions, what we do not know we do not know. When we see this, we then again have a choice. We either blame conditions and others, resulting in staying stuck. Or we accept what we are seeing, own it, forgive it, and thus redeem the in-between.

This can be messy and uncomfortable business.
,br> Believe me. I know.

It will also set us free.

And so, I set out to redeem the in-between in 2019.

I didn’t see it coming.

And I stayed with it. And I owned it. And I forgave. And I stayed, owned, and forgave some more.

I will spare my readers the sometimes-gory details.

It was a radical, revelatory, and revolutionary year.

Am I here to tell you that I am fully redeemed?


It involved content for sure. There were things and relationships to release. There was health to be restored in a very dramatic way. There were priorities to solidify and boundaries to be established and reinforced. I have fewer but truer people in my life. I am thirty-five pounds lighter and have dropped even more baggage. I have somewhat unskillfully moved through lifelong trauma that I, even after years of emotional fluency work, didn’t know was there.

Even with all of that it ended up being far more about patterns and relating than particulars and effects.

I am here to redeem the in-between.

Though a new theme has emerged for 2020 I know that redeeming the in-between is my purpose, my calling, my mission from here on out. I am here to allow my internal world to be a space for Source to happen. I am here to stay awake to the potential of each moment. Of each interaction. Of the impact that I am always having.

I am always contributing something. The only question is what.

So, it occurred to me on this eve of a new year and a new decade that at my age it could be the last beginning decade I will encounter. Or at least the final one where I am actively working in a formal ministry.

That doesn’t scare me one bit.

It inspires me.

I have never been friendlier with my imperfection or more dedicated to transcending it. Not for me alone. For the sake of all beings.

I am somewhere between birth and death. Every single day is an opportunity to serve and to love more. There is an urgency in me. I do not know how much time I have to do that. But I do know I have today. I have now. I have this blog. This platform for sharing my authentic experience.

Between my desire to share these words with you and your chosen experience of them there is a choice. If you have decided to read this far, and are open in the in-between space of me and you, please hear this:

May 2020 be the most radical, revolutionary, radiant year of your life. I am trusting that it will be.

As for me?

I will be living out a new theme, even as I continue to redeem the in-between.

Thursday, December 26, 2019


For decades I believed that if I found the right book, teaching, or belief system my suffering would end, and I would be free.

It came as a great shock when I had the realization that freedom was not the result of what was added to what I believed was missing. Freedom comes when you realize that the spiritual journey is not an adventure in adding to. Spiritual freedom is the life-long process of releasing and of taking away.

Let me reframe that slightly.

Spiritual freedom is the life-long process of having what is extraneous taken away from you.

The illustration of Michelangelo’s David comes to mind. When asked how he could possibly sculpt something so perfect out of a raw block of marble the artist explained that he saw the completed sculpture in the block and simply carved away what was in the way of David.

Subtraction, not addition. Removing, not adding. Not trying to make perfect. Taking away what blocks the inherent perfection.

I so relate.

I instinctively know that underneath all my beliefs, perceptions, pretenses, winning formulas, defenses, and personality traits there is a perfect Taylor.

An already perfect Taylor, as is.

Knowing this makes me privy to the reality that there is a perfect you as well.

My job is to see that perfect reality in both of us. To accept us exactly as we are, even as I know what is not essential and necessary is being whittled away moment by moment and day by day.

We are each being sculpted by a masterful creator who already knows our perfection. It isn’t removing what It thinks is wrong or faulty. It is allowing a process by which what causes our self-imposed suffering is removed and released. This is a huge portion of the Soul function. The Soul knows the Absolute and it knows the relative. It knows the essential, and it knows the ego. It knows the masterpiece, and it knows the extraneous.

If we pay attention and listen to our interior this process of sculpting can be gentle and easy.

The attentive listening part is why it took me decades of trying to find additives.

When we do not listen, or when we do not like what we hear the process becomes more and more aggressive. The whittling becomes less gentle and more painful. Chunks of marble feel as if they are being torn from us. The tender nudging to let go and release goes unheeded and so the message, which is always for our highest good, becomes louder and less gentle. It feels as if things and relationships are being torn from us.

They are.

But only because of our fearful clinging and lack of wisdom-based cooperation.

While the perfect Taylor is likely many chunks of marble away, I have grown increasingly willing to listen, to let be, and to let go when I feel the inner nudging of my own Soul. I no longer live under the illusion that there is anything to add or to put on. My natural state needs no additives. As I release more and more of what doesn’t serve my emergence, I feel a lightening up that is freeing and joyful. Though I still may need to grieve some losses I trust that only the things that no longer belong are being sculpted away. My tendency to hang onto unhealthy habits, perceptions, and relationships is undergoing a liberating transformation. I relish the knowing that only in becoming less do I in actuality become more.

And so, as we approach a new decade and a new calendar year, I feel a great expectancy around what I may release to the great Sculptor within my Soul. I fear no loss as I contemplate the something greater that is happening within me. I know that at this point I can face and withstand any level of unmasking and reshaping that life seeks to put me through.

So, bring it on and take it off.

I want nothing more than to enter a new decade simplifying and releasing my grip on anything that stands before me and the masterpiece that is seeking to be revealed. I welcome the necessary goodbyes. I lean into the seeming losses. I watch for signs of hanging on, and I relax into the gentle chipping away.

The perfect Taylor is a work in progress. It is happening in and to me. There are no additives needed. I stand ready to be perfected just as I am.

Thursday, December 19, 2019


These are historical, monumental times we are living in. What has been submerged for centuries is arising to be seen. What has yet to be integrated psychologically and spiritually is ripe for transformation. And until each and everyone of us is willing to own our part in this unfolding the likelihood is that even more chaotic times are ahead of us.

I am here to serve and to minister to all people. In these days of social media and ideological identification it can be challenging indeed. I do not often directly share when I stand politically. That doesn’t mean I don’t have positions or values by which I operate. I do indeed. I will not, however, allow my own persuasions to overshadow my larger aspiration to love, compassion, and to serve all people.

All people.

These days that aspiration can present a certain level of challenge. I do not shy away from that. If anything, I am grateful for and to it. If someone seeks my counsel, I do not ask what their party affiliation is. It is my business to mind my own business first and foremost. My realm is the realm of the heart. It is the realm of the spirit. While it is often alluded to differently God has no party loyalty. God doesn’t lean right or left. God does not swing elections or collude on behalf of favorite candidates.

And so I must watch and seek to follow suit to the best of my ability.

Again; that does not mean that I compromise my values. It doesn’t mean that I ignore what is happening in my country of origin. It does, though, require that I see these troubling times through a different and a more awakened lens.

So I am faced today with looking squarely at the impeachment of a United States president. I hear the roar of the right and the lamenting of the left. I see and feel a divisiveness that is more virulent than at any time during my lifetime. It is disturbing and it is disheartening.

And I know that I know that something is unfolding that must result in a more awakened and connected place for all of humanity.

What, you say?

I know that I know that something is unfolding that must result in a more awakened and connected place for all of humanity.

I have no idea how that is going to happen. I do not need to know. I simply must be willing to hold a space for that vision in my heart, and not to fall into the trap of dehumanizing others for the sake of what I perceive to be my violated beliefs.

While I am privy to the vast divide between the partisans I am choosing to reside, to the best of my ability, wakefully in the middle. I certainly hear the outrage of those who feel maligned by all of this. I personally take no joy in the pain this must be causing our president and all those who love him. I take no pleasure in other peoples suffering. I also take no pleasure in watching how others are showing up in reaction to all of this.

You can disagree and not become less.

You can disagree and not stoop to name calling. You can disagree and not cause battles in grocery stores and coffee shops. You can disagree and still hold to the Universal Divinity of all beings.

Believe me, I get it. Human beings disagree, react, retaliate, and name call. It is part of our reptilian nature. And we are here to evolve beyond that. We are here for the experience of chosen respect, civility, harmony, and reverence. Not just for those we agree with. For all beings.

For all beings.

Yes, for they, them, and not just for we.

What you are spewing forth isn’t ultimately about them. It’s about you.

These are historical, monumental times we are living in. Troubling, even tragic.

And they are reflective and revelatory.

It is my deep conviction to come through and out of this as more of what I am meant to be. It is my deep conviction to lead with clarity and compassion. It is my dedication to stay and to stand firm in my convictions and values. And I will not compromise my sense of Self for a political posture. I pray to see beyond the surface chaos of what is happening. There are times when I must repeat this praying over and over and over again. And I am good with that. And I grow stronger because of that. And I become more because of that.

Rather than disagreeing and becoming less, I am disagreeing and becoming more.

I find much of the ideology and many of the behaviors currently being displayed repugnant. And that does not mean that I must react from that. As I deepen into a truer place inside of myself, I release the grip on my own belief-identification, and I rise into response. I grow stronger and freer in my chosen way of relating. I become part of the solution, and not part of the problem.

Something historic and monumental is happening in me.

I am disagreeing, and I am becoming more.

More, not less, of what I came here to be.

Thursday, December 12, 2019


“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”

It is the best of times, and in some ways, it is the worst of times.

As I begin to ponder what has occurred during the calendar year of 2019, this Dickens quote from A Tale of Two Cities springs forward. It has never felt truer or more integrated for me. What I find so astounding about these two seeming opposites is that they are perfectly co-existing within my heart. I don’t even feel them as opposites. It feels like a dance that is happening in my conceptual mind, a way to attempt to categorize the radical nature of many of the things that have happened throughout this year.

For someone who spent decades doing everything I could to avoid discomfort, conflict, and loss this year has included heaping helpings of all three. And the miraculous thing is that I have done little to avoid them. In fact, I moved closer and leaned courageously right into them. I have dealt mightily and intimately with them. I have stayed and stayed with the pain and discomfort until an alchemy not of my own making happened.

What had at one time been the worst became the best. And what previously was the best turned into the worst. And in a relentless internal allowing worst and best has blurred until it has become a sphere of belonging that is now transcendent of labels, resistance, or even preference.

The tale of two Taylor’s is rapidly becoming the Taylor atone.

The worst things that have ever happened to me have brought about the greatest gifts.

Many of the things that I thought were the best ended up being the most challenging and the least fulfilling.

My greatest growth has been as a result of the way I have met the worst of times with the best of me.

Active alcoholism, the death of a spouse and countless friends and family, cancer, heart disease; many of the things we humans tend to shrink from have taught me to stand up and claim my way. None of those things have left me less. In fact, the subsequent challenge, battle, surrender, and transcendence have given me a stability and strength that only could be described as the best of the worst.

And so, as I begin to bid 2019 adieu I do so with now-dry eyes and even more open heart. There has been hurt for sure. There have been scenarios that I never dreamed would happen. There has been pain and loss, and there has been clarity and victory.

There is more of me with which to meet whatever occurs in the coming year.

And so, the best of times and the worst of times are simply the dynamic times in which I dwell. I have choice where there was never choice. There is openness there was mostly closure. There are boundaries where there used to be blame.

There is gratitude. So much gratitude. Expounding gratitude.

And gratitude for and with whatever is makes all times the best of times.