Wednesday, November 18, 2020


Most folks will tell you that you cannot change the past.

I do not believe that.

I do not believe you cannot change your past because I have.

The way that I have changed my past is by changing the lens through which I see it. I am actually still in the process of changing my life prescription. It feels more accurate to say that the process of change is happening for and through me. The lens is being changed as I pray into my internal guidance, asking to be freed from the meanings that have caused my suffering. I ask to be shown what I need to see about the way I see. I ask to become clear about what program is running, and how it is distorting my reality and my way of relating.

I ask for help in seeing what I need to see differently.

And I am always shown.

In changing my past, the events and occurrences remain the same. How I see them and what I make them mean is what changes. In some instances, radically. I have intentionally accessed and allowed for the courage I needed to really look back. To go where I did not want to revisit. To return to the seen of the crime. While common wisdom may suggest that we not look back it has been a necessary journey for me. I needed to go back and to face what I had previously refused to see. I knew instinctually that I could not stop repeating my painful patterns if I did not return to them for a closer look.

And I have indeed faced my patterns. With barely a flinch.


I saw. I stayed. I looked closer. I looked closer still. I kept my eyes and my heart open. I cried. And I cried some more. And as the tears began to dry, I saw the patterns from a new perspective. I saw the people who I was sure had victimized me in a new light. With a deeper clarity. With a surprising level of appreciation.


Looking back over this incredible adventure of my life I am being shown how every part and parcel of it has been a perfect part of my unfolding. I am seeing the bigger picture. The broader perspective. I am seeing how every pain and pitfall was a necessary element to the next essential part of the story. The dots are connecting in miraculous ways. I am having memories and dreams of things I have not thought of in decades.

In some ways I feel as if I am watching the technicolor movie of me.

I watch. I engage. I feel. I laugh. I cry. I see what I used to think things meant. What roles I used to cast others in. I see the heroes and I see the villains. I feel the dashed dreams and the bridges they became to what I was truly meant to experience. I watch as I am guided to a new perspective of what my life has been about. The distinctions regarding what I thought I was meant to do, and what I was authentically meant to become.

And day by day I appreciate it all more. More, and even more.

It is appreciation that is changing my past. And as my past miraculously changes my present becomes richer and freer and more authentically my own.

I do not become lost in projecting my unresolved past patterns onto current situations and relationships. Because I looked back, I now look forward with a new clarity and hopefulness. In appreciating all that the past has taught me I dwell in a readiness to appreciate the lessons of today. I open to the challenges knowing they will be bridges to where I am being led next. I consistently pray to see clearly. With a new and present time vision. I know not how many tomorrows I will have so I appreciate the opportunity to be here today. As is. This life experience. This relationship. This circumstance. I look upon it with fresh eyes. An open heart. A deep knowing that everything is a part of a sacred emergence.

Everything is a part of a sacred emergence.

Everything has always been a part of a sacred emergence.

From that perspective I appreciate it all. And appreciating it all changes my past.

The past no longer has power over me for the power of appreciation empowers me to embrace it in this present moment.

The dots are connecting. The patterns are resolving. The history is clarifying. The meaning is expanding.

The past is changing.

I so appreciate that.

So, don’t let others tell you that you cannot change the past.

You can.

I know. I have.

And appreciation is the key.