Maybe it was all of the potent energy and subsequent dynamics surrounding 2012’s prophesies and cosmic rebirthing, of which I was an active and highly engaged participant. For whatever reason, 2013 is certainly not starting out as an “out of the gate” kind of year for me. I felt no compelling drive to ritualize the changing of the calendar, and still feel no strong desire to set specific intentions for the year that is already unfolding before me. It at once feels strange and also liberating. I have for so many years used the beginning of a new year as a time to carefully evaluate where I am in my life and most specifically my sacred emergence, and then to prayerfully allow inspired intentions to come to me and to then inform my actions and decisions for the ensuing months. I don’t recall a December 31st prior to this one that I did not participate in and usually lead a Burning Bowl ceremony. It quite honestly would have felt forced or at best mindless to do so coming into 2013. I have finally and fully embraced the reality that just because something has been meaningful in the past does not mean that I need to continue to engage in it within this present.
I am finding that though much of my life has been about acquiring new awareness’s, knowledge, practices, and skills, I am now at the juncture where I am letting go of more and more that at this point feels only extraneous. I crave quietude and simplicity. I want less of what weighs me down and tends to wear me out. I tire easily of head games and too much information. If it is complicated I will take a pass. Old rituals and practices that once felt nourishing now feel only distracting. No new concepts, please. Let’s just open to the direct experience of what cannot be conceptualized, described, or even ritualized. I am allowing breathing to be my primary sacrament and Presence to be my primary goal. Simple. Now. Intimate. Here. That is my intention. That is my resolution.
I have climbed enough mountains, set enough goals, and thrown enough aspects of myself into the New Year’s fire. I sought until this seeker is quite simply “seeked-out.” If there is something left to achieve in this lifetime it will happen as an organic out picturing of Who I am choosing to be and not as a result of what I am trying to do. There is certainly a place for intention and for action. For me it originates naturally from the authenticity that underlies all the mental plans and schemes. Guidance is in the breath. It is in the heartbeat. It is in the moment that is fully felt and embraced. So if I am not off and running into this year of 2013 it is because there is a deeper knowing within me that the slower pace is the way to flow for now. If there is something else to be known or something to be done it will arise easily within the heightened awareness that comes from open internal space. The only way to be new is to be fully available to the now. And that is what feels most important for the beginning days and weeks of this new calendar year.
To be fully new, available, and open within the now.
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