Thursday, April 26, 2012


I’ve the Facebook-MySpace-Twitter-time blues.

Last week I celebrated somewhat sheepishly another birthday upon this planet. I did not approach this one with my usual gusto, and I curiously watched as my friends and loved ones tried to talk me out of my experience and into what they thought my attitude should be. If I heard “age is only a state of mind” one more time I, well, I don’t know what I would have done. It felt like one more rather mindless statement that pastes a New Thought happy sticker on what a more authentic response is trying to reveal. I have spent a lot of this incarnation trying to get out of the human experience and into a now-recognized kind of Disneyesque pseudo-spiritual disassociation. In my later years I have committed to myself to be my whole self from here on out. That doesn’t mean I believe the programmed stories of the surface mind. It doesn’t lead me to identifying with my rather lively emotional currents. It certainly doesn’t mean I lose touch with my authentic, essential self. I am finally and gratefully aware that I am aware, and that includes experiencing and including the totality of my being. And part of that totality didn’t relish turning fifty-five. I feel no need to make that wrong, right, or different. The ageless and eternal part of my being was quite content to watch as the aging mortal me struggled a bit with the turning of another page. No happy story needed.

A particularly curious part of this birthday was the astounding number of Facebook posts I received from people I know very well to others about which I haven’t even got a clue. Rather than the usual tertiary cyber-linking’s of this vast social network, I received warm and truly moving messages from people I don’t even know. To look at my “wall” you would think that I am a very popular fellow indeed. Not losing sight of the sweet intent behind these messages I must admit I found it rather odd. Sweet and odd, for sure. But odd none-the-less.

With the millions of people who are seemingly connected via the social networks it seems to me that there is less overall intimacy than ever. While it is at worst benign to receive a gushing tribute from someone you have never even met ( I “friend” anyone who asks) It points to the profound need within all of us to touch what is in Truth a part of us. We have a deep and driving need for connection. We need to be heard, and we need to really listen to others. We need to feel the warmth of an embrace. The heart-beat of the ones we love and who love us. We need to see ourselves reflected in the unmoving gaze of a truly attentive other. We need to hear the actual and revealing tones of voice that are often so misconstrued in our texts and e-mail society. And yet how often are people that are in the same physical space so entranced in their mobile device, seeking to connect with someone that is continents away, and thus missing the experience of the person that is feet and yet light-years away from them? I deeply appreciate the birthday salutations. I do. I also pray that they weren’t sent at the expense of the attention to some spouse, partner, sibling, parent, child, or friend. Please take back the glowing affirmations and give them to the one you have barely grunted at in days, weeks, or even months.

I use and appreciate the social media outlets. This very writing will be posted on two of them. Yet it is no substitute for being directly in your sphere. I can’t truly feel the depth of your presence in a text message or Facebook post. I want to feel your skin and smell your hair and look deeply into your eyes. There is a great gift to turning fifty-five. It is the realization that I have already lived more years than my future will contain. Please save the New Thought adage about that. Knowing that my future is shorter than my past makes our connection more important. More of a priority. It makes being directly with you more vital and precious. I know not the number of days I have left, or that you have left. So let’s not waste them on Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter. Let’s not have our final connection be via a mobile device or a cyber blurt. Come and touch me. Look into these aging eyes and see my timeless love. Hear my voice and feel my heart. Let me be with you in a way that we truly know we are one. Let’s bring down the walls rather than post upon them.

Gee, I already feel better about this birthday. I think I’ll go and call a couple of people I love. A Facebook post or e-mail just doesn’t convey what is too big for even the internet.