IS IT HEARTBREAK?

With all the tragedies and devastation that have been unfolding in our world lately, I have been feeling waves of discomfort in my heart center like I haven’t felt in quite some time. Several years ago I had a series of losses in a very short period of time. I began to have sometimes serious chest pains that resulted in a visit to a cardiologist. The doctor confirmed my suspicions that the pain had nothing to do with the physical organ of my heart. “There is nothing wrong with your heart other than heartbreak.”

I guess that was supposed to be comforting.

Today as I type these words I feel a vague tightening in my chest and back. I am more than certain that there is nothing wrong with my physical heart. And from this perspective I also know that it is not heartbreak.

Our hearts in fact do not break.

Okay, hearts become diseased, go into arrest, and indeed eventually stop. But they do not emotionally break.

What breaks are the protective shells we have inadvertently encased our sensitive heart-centers with. The armor breaks. The defenses crack and the walls slowly begin to fall. The layers of protection we have built to keep us from the inevitable pain of being human at some point begin to shake and loosen. The effect of that process is indeed experienced as sensations of pain, indeed, waves of sometimes serious pain. Radiating pain that often feels like an internal quaking. It is scary. We try to stop it by running to doctors or taking medications or retreating into spinning mental stories. We will try anything to lessen the effects of what really amounts to a deep level of spiritual awakening.

So right now I feel the waves. Is it heartbreak?

It is heart opening. It is heart awakening. It is the deep wisdom of the heart recognizing its place in a world filled with pain, loss, and torment. The heart doesn’t look with pity on what is happening over there. It feels with empathy what is happening right in here. Spiritually there is no over there. I am connected and I am awakening to that connection. I am feeling what is happening around the globe and my heart is telling me it is time to participate in the pain. It is time to compassion and to transmute some of that pain by bringing down the barriers I have built to shield myself from it.

Now I am typing these words in an air conditioned office wearing dry clothing and with a full stomach. I have a chilled glass of clean drinking water beside my computer. And yet my heart also feels the trauma for those who have none of that right now. And with my creature comforts in place my heart still aches. And I can authentically report that I am grateful. I have no desire to look the other way. I welcome the direct experience of my shared humanity. I welcome this pain as direct evidence that I am awakening to the reality of Oneness. Not a gold-gilded concept but a felt-reality of the broad spectrum of what can happen in a human experience.

So this is not heartbreak. It is my deepest heart feeling the hearts of hurting people around the world. I am grateful to no longer seek to deaden this discomfort. I am thankful to have moved beyond casting platitudes or only sending a check that assuages my guilt and stifles my caring. I send money for sure. But I do so staying connected to the massive quantities of loss and suffering that are pervasive on our shared planet at this time. I am not there, and yet I am. And I am choosing to stay with the pain and with the connection.

This pain in my heart tells me I am alive and I am awakening. I care. I can let myself care and I can let myself hurt. It is so worth the feeling of connection to my fellow beings in this horrid and wondrous human dilemma. It is so worth the waves of pain that tell me I am one.

MY PERSONAL STORM TRACKING

Everything is energy. Everything. I am energy. I am a field of energy in an Infinite Energy Field.

When energy becomes informed it becomes matter. Always.

When I interact with matter I interact with energy within my field and within THE Field. So how I interact has a direct effect on what I am interacting with. My attention energizes. Not only my attention, but the WAY in which I attend. This is the physics of attention.

As I awaken spiritually I become more and more responsible for what happens in my personal energy field. I claim responsibility for what I am focusing on and most importantly HOW. My quality of attention is always and in all ways a contribution. HOW I focus informs energy. HOW I choose to focus transforms energy.

A hurricane is energy. It is informed energy called storm. While physical factors, which are non-reflective consciousness, play a role in it for sure, so does consciousness. Self-reflective consciousness and choice transform energies. So how I focus on this thing called a hurricane plays a big part in what happens with it.

If I focus fearful, reactive, combative energy on it the field called hurricane grows stronger. If I feel it churning in my gut, and yet choose to bring peace and acceptance to it, the energy called storm becomes transmuted.

This does not mean I do not take human actions and precautions. And while I may do so I consciously, wakefully focus my attention and energy on this field within my field and softly, firmly say PEACE, BE STILL. I do not hope it goes elsewhere. I do not fight it with resistance and fear.

I see it as an informed field of energy currently called Irma and I realize it is the same essential energy as am I.

And so I allow the peace within my heart to become the peace I give to this storm. Energy meets energy. Information is transformed with prayerful peace.

If the majority of human energy fields focuses fearfully and fitfully it strengthens the storm and draws it toward us. If a critical mass number of self-reflective beings join in feeling and saying PEACE BE STILL the information will calm and the stormy energy with dissipate.

Forecast becomes prophesy. So does prayer.

Peace be still. In here, and so out there.

PEACE BE STILL.