Every morning I awaken with a deep and consuming desire to know my Source more and more intimately. It is a longing that feels much bigger and way stronger than me. It is there, persistently, each and every day. No matter how much more profoundly I feel the Source frequency in my heart and in my being there is a call inside of me for more.
Always and in all ways it is calling for more. More depth, more intimacy, more union, more merging, more God. I want to be a wave that goes back down into the Sea of One.
I surf these feelings each day in deep appreciation of where I am and where I am being called to dwell. I recognize in wonder that as this pull, this desire is so much bigger and stronger than me, I am being desired by Source Itself! I am being called home to Source and to Self. The Will of the One is moving in me, beseeching me, inviting and cajoling me to say yes to What It Is. I am being called to experience the depth of What I am. Source is longing to know the fullness of Itself. This is a ceaseless longing that cannot ever be fully suppressed. It does not seek to dominate, but it does ask for cooperation. It asks for co-creation. It asks that the separate sense of self be surrendered in service of a grand awakening into the Universal One.
There were times in my life when I could not tolerate longing, especially longings for which I could not force fulfillment. Now I relish this tension. I know that the initiation of the longing is also the source of its fulfillment. And so I court this feeling. I lean into it. I breathe it and I open fully into it. It is my prayer. The longing is my prayer. The desire is my prayer. The beseeching is my prayer. And I say yes.
Not just with my head. Prayer is not of my head. It is an embodied yes, a vulnerable yes, a wide-open yes. I am not interested in a God-concept in my head. I’ve been there and it was cold and deadening. I am saying yes to a God-movement in my heart and in my body. I want an untamed mysticism coursing through me as Love Itself.
I want to be out of control with desire, out of control with this ceaseless longing. I want my prayer to be an out of control opening into a deep, intimate experience of What Source is as It becomes fulfillment in me. That is why I am here. That is my purpose. That is my passion.
And so every morning I awaken to a deep and consuming desire to know my Source. And every morning and throughout each day I say yes to allowing my Source to live as me. I release control and I lean into the love. My life is a prayer of Yes.
And so it is.
