DISAGREEING AND BECOMING MORE

These are historical, monumental times we are living in. What has been submerged for centuries is arising to be seen. What has yet to be integrated psychologically and spiritually is ripe for transformation. And until each and everyone of us is willing to own our part in this unfolding the likelihood is that even more chaotic times are ahead of us.

I am here to serve and to minister to all people. In these days of social media and ideological identification it can be challenging indeed. I do not often directly share when I stand politically. That doesn’t mean I don’t have positions or values by which I operate. I do indeed. I will not, however, allow my own persuasions to overshadow my larger aspiration to love, compassion, and to serve all people.

All people.

These days that aspiration can present a certain level of challenge. I do not shy away from that. If anything, I am grateful for and to it. If someone seeks my counsel, I do not ask what their party affiliation is. It is my business to mind my own business first and foremost. My realm is the realm of the heart. It is the realm of the spirit. While it is often alluded to differently God has no party loyalty. God doesn’t lean right or left. God does not swing elections or collude on behalf of favorite candidates.

And so I must watch and seek to follow suit to the best of my ability.

Again; that does not mean that I compromise my values. It doesn’t mean that I ignore what is happening in my country of origin. It does, though, require that I see these troubling times through a different and a more awakened lens.

So I am faced today with looking squarely at the impeachment of a United States president. I hear the roar of the right and the lamenting of the left. I see and feel a divisiveness that is more virulent than at any time during my lifetime. It is disturbing and it is disheartening.

And I know that I know that something is unfolding that must result in a more awakened and connected place for all of humanity.

What, you say?

I know that I know that something is unfolding that must result in a more awakened and connected place for all of humanity.

I have no idea how that is going to happen. I do not need to know. I simply must be willing to hold a space for that vision in my heart, and not to fall into the trap of dehumanizing others for the sake of what I perceive to be my violated beliefs.

While I am privy to the vast divide between the partisans I am choosing to reside, to the best of my ability, wakefully in the middle. I certainly hear the outrage of those who feel maligned by all of this. I personally take no joy in the pain this must be causing our president and all those who love him. I take no pleasure in other peoples suffering. I also take no pleasure in watching how others are showing up in reaction to all of this.

You can disagree and not become less.

You can disagree and not stoop to name calling. You can disagree and not cause battles in grocery stores and coffee shops. You can disagree and still hold to the Universal Divinity of all beings.

Believe me, I get it. Human beings disagree, react, retaliate, and name call. It is part of our reptilian nature. And we are here to evolve beyond that. We are here for the experience of chosen respect, civility, harmony, and reverence. Not just for those we agree with. For all beings.

For all beings.

Yes, for they, them, and not just for we.

What you are spewing forth isn’t ultimately about them. It’s about you.

These are historical, monumental times we are living in. Troubling, even tragic.

And they are reflective and revelatory.

It is my deep conviction to come through and out of this as more of what I am meant to be. It is my deep conviction to lead with clarity and compassion. It is my dedication to stay and to stand firm in my convictions and values. And I will not compromise my sense of Self for a political posture. I pray to see beyond the surface chaos of what is happening. There are times when I must repeat this praying over and over and over again. And I am good with that. And I grow stronger because of that. And I become more because of that.

Rather than disagreeing and becoming less, I am disagreeing and becoming more.

I find much of the ideology and many of the behaviors currently being displayed repugnant. And that does not mean that I must react from that. As I deepen into a truer place inside of myself, I release the grip on my own belief-identification, and I rise into response. I grow stronger and freer in my chosen way of relating. I become part of the solution, and not part of the problem.

Something historic and monumental is happening in me.

I am disagreeing, and I am becoming more.

More, not less, of what I came here to be.

THE BEST OF TIMES

“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”

It is the best of times, and in some ways, it is the worst of times.

As I begin to ponder what has occurred during the calendar year of 2019, this Dickens quote from A Tale of Two Cities springs forward. It has never felt truer or more integrated for me. What I find so astounding about these two seeming opposites is that they are perfectly co-existing within my heart. I don’t even feel them as opposites. It feels like a dance that is happening in my conceptual mind, a way to attempt to categorize the radical nature of many of the things that have happened throughout this year.

For someone who spent decades doing everything I could to avoid discomfort, conflict, and loss this year has included heaping helpings of all three. And the miraculous thing is that I have done little to avoid them. In fact, I moved closer and leaned courageously right into them. I have dealt mightily and intimately with them. I have stayed and stayed with the pain and discomfort until an alchemy not of my own making happened.

What had at one time been the worst became the best. And what previously was the best turned into the worst. And in a relentless internal allowing worst and best has blurred until it has become a sphere of belonging that is now transcendent of labels, resistance, or even preference.

The tale of two Taylor’s is rapidly becoming the Taylor atone.

The worst things that have ever happened to me have brought about the greatest gifts.

Many of the things that I thought were the best ended up being the most challenging and the least fulfilling.

My greatest growth has been as a result of the way I have met the worst of times with the best of me.

Active alcoholism, the death of a spouse and countless friends and family, cancer, heart disease; many of the things we humans tend to shrink from have taught me to stand up and claim my way. None of those things have left me less. In fact, the subsequent challenge, battle, surrender, and transcendence have given me a stability and strength that only could be described as the best of the worst.

And so, as I begin to bid 2019 adieu I do so with now-dry eyes and even more open heart. There has been hurt for sure. There have been scenarios that I never dreamed would happen. There has been pain and loss, and there has been clarity and victory.

There is more of me with which to meet whatever occurs in the coming year.

And so, the best of times and the worst of times are simply the dynamic times in which I dwell. I have choice where there was never choice. There is openness there was mostly closure. There are boundaries where there used to be blame.

There is gratitude. So much gratitude. Expounding gratitude.

And gratitude for and with whatever is makes all times the best of times.