OCTOBER RADICAL EXPRESSION

I often like to begin my days with a heartful inquiry that goes something like this:

IF I ABSOLUTELY KNEW THAT I AM AN EXPRESSION OF THE ONE LOVE LIVING IN AND AS THAT UNIVERSAL LOVE, HOW WOULD I SPEND THIS DAY?

This inquiry always spawns a myriad of subsequent questions. “How would I behold myself and my world if my only reality was Love? What might I be inspired to give and to achieve if I remained aligned within the Universe of One Love? What would my inner atmosphere feel like if my only internal response was one of Love? What past stories would be shined away if they were seen through the lens of present Love? What self-opinion might I surrender if I truly knew that my Essential Self is only Love? What internal wars would be stilled if they were held in the Loving Embrace of my Sourced Loving Self? How might I be used in the service of the Grand Awakening if my only contribution was Love?”

When I speak of knowing I am not pointing to intellectual assent or New Thought concept. When love is a mental notion it is devoid of any lasting and causal power. The surface mind, being an instrument of duality, cannot know unconditional love. When we as humans were small children, our authentic Essence nature of unconditional Love was open, accessible, and impressionable. We were experientially wide open beings of authentic love. We gave that love readily, and expected it in return. The scope of the ensuing dynamics is beyond the scope of this writing; suffice it to say that when we were totally open as Love, we received a conditioned reaction that spoke to us energetically of something less than what we actually are. We wanted to give and to receive the wide open love that we in actuality are, and in some way we were met with disapproval, rejection, contraction, and even shame. This resulted in a pulling back into a protective posture. It resulted in a belief that who we are when we are authentic and open is unacceptable. We made an emotional equation that being love results in some form of rejection. That is the great illusion that has trapped humankind; the belief that there is a power other than love that holds dominion over our authentic Self. We have in this great illusion become fearful of giving our love, of being our love. As illogical as it seems to the mind, we actually have come to fear love. And that, my dear readers, is hell.

And so though at times the return to Source seems complicated and bound by time, the return is really only a remembrance. It is the remembrance that behind this childhood wounding, Love remains the Essence of our being. It is only known as it is given. It becomes a reality when it is practically applied. The journey back requires that we move emotionally through these early woundings, feeling fully the energy that has been blocked by our own reactive pullback. This does not require a story. This wounding occurred before we were mental beings. It does not require time, as Love is of eternity. It does not require endless processing, which is a favorite ploy of the egoic mind. It requires merely our own undivided loving attention. Remembering that for most of us love equals rejection, we must be diligent in our opening. We must be vigilant in our heartfulness. We must be relentless in our capacity to include. LOVE REJECTS NOTHING. It’s concentric, radical acceptance is what transforms our fearful withholding into loving expression. We are returned to the authentic, Essential, giving, loving Selves that we were when we entered these incarnations. We may still wince at the emotional memory of rejection, pullback, and shame. And yet that wince becomes the invitation to widen the heart and pour forth the love. The love you seek is the love you are. The love you are is the love you choose to give. The love you give is the contribution you make. And the contribution you make is the G-awed you truly are.

And so my friend, IF YOU ABSOLUTELY KNEW THAT YOU ARE AN EXPRESSION OF THE ONE LOVE LIVING IN AND AS THAT UNIVERSAL LOVE, HOW WOULD YOU SPEND THIS DAY? You already are that Love. Beyond the dualistic images and emotional wounds, you are that Love. And you will Know this beyond knowing as you choose each moment to live In and give As that Source Unconditional Loving vibration. There is no part of you that needs to be fixed. There is nothing broken. There is nothing to reject. Simply Be the Love you already are. Face the fear my favored friend, and Be the Love.

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THE SIN OF SELF-DIMINISHMENT

Educator and author Parker Palmer has written that the only real sin is “conspiring in one’s own self-diminishment.” There has always been something about that notion that has struck a deep chord in me. As most of my readers will have heard, the word “sin” is a centuries old archery term which literally means to “miss the mark.” While it is spiritually incorrect to speak of sin to most New Thought audiences, Mr. Palmer gives us a workable and meaningful definition that when coupled with the archery term opens the door to a radical clearing of what keeps us in the throws of conspiring in our own self- diminishment.

At the time of this writing, we are in the ten days between the Jewish High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. This period of time is termed the “Days of Awe,” and represents the opportunity to forgive whatever has occurred since last the book of life was sealed. The book is re-opened on the New Year, and we are given the gift to look within our personal books of life to see where we have missed the mark in the past year. As the book will be re-sealed at the end of Yom Kippur, that day in particular is spent in fasting, self reflection, and prayer. While I was not born into the Jewish tradition, I have observed these days of Awe for many years. I have come to think of it as my “fall house cleaning.” I give myself the gift of extra practice and contemplation, and pay particular attention to the ways in which I have conspired in my own self-diminishment. I reflect energetically into the spirit of the Kol Nidre prayer which is chanted Erev Yom Kippur. This haunting prayer seeks forgiveness for pretending to be what we are not, and for denying what we really are. Historically, this remembers the Spanish Jews who were forced to pretend they were Christians in order to spare their own lives. The Jews pray for forgiveness for breaking promises they couldn’t keep, often due to circumstances beyond their control. For me, it is a self-forgiveness prayer for all the times that I have pretended to be less than what I am by virtue of my Sourced creation. For the times I have played small, and believed and lived from my own self- lies. For the times I have gotten so attached to my own self-aversion that I hide the True Light of my Being from my self and from the world. For the countless times I have betrayed my own promises to treat myself with more compassion, kindness, and merciful respect.

Before the book of life is sealed this week-end, I acknowledge the times I have given my power and authority to an outer source, and then blamed the effects rather than my own unskillful ways. I forgive myself for believing the lies of a bigoted world, and for withholding my gifts in fear of outer criticism and rejection. I am willing to own, during these days of Awe, that no one can criticize, reject, minimize, or diminish me without my willing cooperation. I forgive me the times that I have withheld, recoiled, and pulled back from giving my love fully and freely, and then self-suffering from the contraction of my own closed heart. I forgive me the subtle energetic suicide of my own self aversion, and the sabotaging ways in which I have dimmed my dreams. I forgive me the grip of grievance, the resistance of resentment, and the strangling chokehold of self-righteous unwillingness. I forgive me the disowning of my inherent power to heal, to uplift, and to shine forth as Truth in any circumstance, situation, or relationship. I forgive the unconsciousness and unskillfulness that forgetfulness of Truth brings, and I ask forgiveness of all others I may have offended or hurt since last Yom Kippur.

I forgive me now the many times I have missed the mark of my own Holiness, Worthiness, and Perfection. I forgive the ways both subtle and concrete that I have conspired in my own self diminishment, the ways in which I have pretended to be less than I truly am. And as the book of Life is sealed, I vow to live more fully aligned with the Truth of my Being. I devote myself to uplifting me and all those around me to a place congruent with the Truth of our Sourced Isness. I now conspire to call forth the very best in myself and in all those I encounter. In doing so, I join the Universal conspiracy of bringing forth the very best that this sweet New Year has to offer, and in embodying the liberating Truth that deep forgiveness reveals.

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