“I don’t have a purpose anymore.”
The aftermath of open-heart surgery was not nearly as impactful as how that statement landed in my chest.
I took a deep breath. I looked into those eyes and saw the sincerity and I saw the sadness.
This man that I love so deeply. This man that has graced this planet for more than seventy-five years. This man who has helped so many people in so many ways. This man who has done so much. This man who has given so much.
And now this man cannot do what he used to do. He cannot do the simplest of tasks. He cannot reach out to help or give to others. And so by contrast he feels he has no purpose.
I perceptually understand where he was coming from. I also understand he was coming from a faulty premise.
He had thanked me for doing something, and I authentically responded that doing for him is part of my purpose. I meant that. I feel that. I celebrate that, even when it feels difficult or overwhelming. What I do not feel is that my ability to do for him is my only purpose. What I do not feel is that his inability to do for me lessens in any way his purpose. Our expression of purposes has shifted. Yet it does not get to what our primary purposes are.
“I don’t have a purpose anymore.”
I did not correct or seek to change his statement. I held his gaze as I deepened down into my own internal pain-filled response. I waited until authentic words filled my heart and made their way quietly through my tender voice.
“Sweetheart, your adorable, sweet, loving self is your purpose. Your purpose is to spread the beauty that is you to others. You bring joy to so many by simply being who you are. That is your purpose.”
He seemed to take it in and let it land. At least to some degree. Knowing him he will grapple with the notion that what he is, is his gift to the world. It is often said that we are the last ones to know. I believe that is true for my beloved. I guess that if he walked around trying to be adorable, he would only be annoying. It is the natural sweetness that emanates from him that makes him so infinitely appealing.
The exchange reminded me that the primary purpose for any of us is not found in what we do. Our purpose is not diminished when we do less, any more than it is augmented by doing more.
Our primary purpose is to love.
Our primary purpose is to let every single moment of our lives be an opportunity to be, to give, to share the love that we inherently are. We know that this is true because we never feel more resonant than when we are streaming love. Holding a space of love. Listening and speaking with love.
I have had a relatively busy day. That fact does not make me feel more purposeful.
I have consciously infused much of what I have done today with love. And that is what makes what I have done today feel very purposeful indeed.
And so, my darling, I understand that being able to do radically less than you used to do is making you feel less purposeful. I hear you. I feel your heart. I honor what you are experiencing.
And I beg you to reconsider.
Your sweet, loving, adorable presence makes you purposeful in ways transcendent of anything you could or cannot do. You bring joy with that incomparable, radiant smile. You tenderly touch and open hearts by simply being that wondrous, one of a kind you.
And you, dear reader. Yes, you.
Let this missive serve as a reminder that what you do does not make your life purposeful. It does not make you more or less valuable. You do not need to earn your worth.
Your purpose is simply to be the love you are. The love you intrinsically are. The love you already are. Know that, and then do what you do from that knowing.
To live a life of love is to live a life of purpose.
The love you already are is non-negotiable. It is your birthright. It is your purpose for being here. And it never fades.
No matter how little you do.
