Monday, April 20, 2009
As I begin this edition of RADICAL EXPRESSION, I am keenly aware of a profound sense of AWE within the center of my being. I have been riding on waves of APPRECIATION most of this day, though I have had a number of tasks to accomplish. I am particularly grateful to be connected to a sense of BLESSING at this venture of my life journey; tomorrow, the 21st, another numerical digit will be added onto this incarnation. I giggle as I recall a line from the play THE LION IN WINTER: “I am older than I ever intended to be.” Though the cliché “age is a state of mind” has been parroted repeatedly to me during the past weeks, my humanness is perceiving fifty- two as a bit daunting. I am actually welcoming that feeling. I have no need to label it away. The fact is that I have entered the autumn of my life, and I want to experience all that my humanity offers in its fullest expression. Aging, when embraced, brings with it a myriad of lessons. I personally do not care to act as if I am not aging, or to deny how that may feel within the human realm. I recognize that I am not choosing to identify with all of the limitations that tribal thinking brings to this era of my life. Nor am I disconnecting from the embodied form that is changing with the passing years. I am indeed an eternal spiritual Essence, and I am housed now in human form. One is an eternal Truth, and one is relative. But both are to be embraced. My current level of consciousness is what is bringing about the sense of awe, appreciation, and blessing that I mentioned above. I spend great periods of my days awake to what is happening within and around me. I live in a perpetual state of Remembrance. That brings me great joy. At the same time, I am experiencing physical changes that are calling me to an increased level of compassion and Presence. They are not changes that are preferred, yet here they are. A much older man is now looking at me from my mirror. Things are not physically where they used to be. The law of gravity is at work, and the toning exercises that seemed to always give a lift are now resulting in more of a lag. So there is very evident spirit, and there is fairly visible sag. And all of it is a part of my life experience, so I am choosing to open to it all.
Even with the slight trepidation about turning 52, I have a great sense of possibility about my Nows. I am in a state of Being where I can look back at all that has been and smile. I can look upon all of the unskillfulness with compassion and with mercy. I am treating myself with more loving-kindness than ever before. That capability is expanding the givingness that is so much a part of my purpose. I awaken with a sense of gratitude for simply being here upon this wondrous planet another day. I live within the felt-sense Knowingness of Who and What I am, and why I am here in this incarnation. I open daily into the inquiries of HOW NOW SHALL I LIVE? WHAT NOW MAY I GIVE? Those questions have become my guiding stars, and I keep my sights upon them as I navigate through my days. I know that I am in the best time of my life, and that I have a great gift of love to give while I am still here in this slightly sagging, sometimes creaking body temple. And that is truly the reason I am here. To live into and to give from within the Love I am. I am truly grateful to be just as I am this day, and I have waited 52 years to be able to say that.
As I end this edition of RADICAL EXPRESSION, I do so with an even greater sense of AWE and appreciation: for you, my beloved readers. And for myself, the older yet wiser man in the mirror who continues to show up giving his gifts of love.
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Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I am posting this April edition of RADICAL EXPRESSION a little later in the month than I usually do, as I was away in luscious Oregon at THE WORLD PUJA conference. It was a truly magical gathering, with fascinating speakers and tremendous musicians. The energy of the attendees was both uplifting and grounding, a combination I love basking in. I attribute it in part to the energy of the Puja steward, Maureen Moss. If you are not familiar with the organization, you may wish to give a look at www.worldpuja.com. There is an extensive library of interviews with many of today’s leading spiritual visionaries.
An added bonus of being in southern Oregon was that, though for this Florida boy it was a bit cold, spring was bursting forth in all its glory! There were too many varieties of flowers and blossoms to name; suffice it to say that Mother Gaia was resplendent in her creative birthing. I spent much of the time there in wide open awe. It was gorgeous beyond description. I even got to experience a walk in a snow shower: YES, YES, YES!
As an April baby from up north, I appreciate the old adage “April showers bring May flowers,” though from the looks of Oregon the flowers are a month early. As I experienced the magnitude of beauty all around me, it struck me once again how nature teaches us all we need to learn about how to live heartfully in this world. As someone who is a word-smith by trade, I am humbled by the profundity and simplicity with which the elements lure us forward in our spiritual emergence. There certainly would not be the overwhelming beauty of spring without the seeming deadness of winter, and the awakening rains of spring. The light is a necessary factor, but it is only a part of the totality of creation. As much as we humans resist the rains of our emotional landscape, it is from that rain that our emergent flowering forth opens us to broader and deeper levels of sacred experiencing. As the religious holidays of this month also demonstrate, there is no rebirth, transcendence, passing over, or resurrection without the darkness and the deathing that is a part of all creation. Comfort isn’t a determining factor in the earth’s ongoing cycles, and it can’t be a factor in a mature spirituality either. Rainy and dark seasons are a part of the sacred sojourners path. It need not be denied or resisted. The flowers have and will come again. It is our destiny to grow and to shine forth in all our spiritual glory. There is room in the open heart for all seasons. I for one love to walk in a pouring rain shower, and I am becoming more and more accepting of all of my inner weather patterns as well. I have come to know to the point of faithfulness that when I stay open in the heaviest of rains, the after-storm is that much more brilliant.
Though the spring season is much more subtle here in south Florida, it is present none-the-less. It is a cycle that is energetically a part of our soulful genetics. I invite you to call it forward, and to allow for whatever rain may accompany the springing forth of your next flowering. Just as Gaia is guffawing open in this time of magnificent creation, let your self follow the lead! Give way to what is seeking you, and allow your gifts to pour forth for all to behold. That is what makes the human garden so very wondrous to experience. Hold nothing back. Allow the rains to tender the places that are budding forth to flower. It is the very nature of nature to give its self in order to behold its self. It is the season, and you are the one.
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