Thursday, October 10, 2019

IS THAT SO?

Someone recently felt compelled to share with me that there is a less than flattering story about me being told.

Is that so?

There was a time in my life when that news would have shattered me. I would have stewed in the news, scripting for myself what people must be saying about me. That scripting would have led me to expanding levels of emotional disturbance, distorting my view of myself and those who are reportingly telling the tale. The dynamic of the disturbance and distortion would have been a quicksand that would have sucked me down into myself. There I would have suffered, plotting my retaliation, no matter how subtle it might have to be. I would, after all, still need to appear spiritual even as I was carrying out my revenge.

And then, as today, I would not know whether the reported storytelling was even really happening.

I have never felt freer internally in my entire life. I have never known myself better or been more accepting with that knowledge. I know and I embrace my imperfection. I have no need to pretend that I am perfect, or to demand perfection from other people. I make plenty of mistakes. I inadvertently hurt people, which causes me great pain. When I do, I apologize, make amends, and vow to do better. That is my part, and how others respond to my amends is none of my business. This process keeps me clear in here, which is all I am responsible for and to.

So, if less than flattering stories are being told about me, they might very well be true. Afterall, my imperfection presents itself every single day. They also may not be true at all. At which point there is nothing I can do about a shared untruth. I am very clear that fabricated stories do nothing to change me. I am equally true that spreading untrue stories does much to change or at least reveal the nature of the teller. Again; there is nothing I can do to change that.

So being free with my own imperfection liberates me from allowing my identity to be altered by unflattering stories. It also allows me to be unaltered by flattering stories.

Speak ill of me.

Is that so?

Speak well of me.

Is that so?

Equanimity is far more precious to me than your opinion.

Equanimity is far more precious to me than my opinion.

So, if there are indeed unflattering stories being told about me, I am grateful.

No, that is not avoidance or denial.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to decide how I process that possibility within myself. I get to feel the energy associated with that news and decide how I will respond. I get to watch the hurt, anger, impulse to defend and not take any action from it. I get to be even clearer in my sense of self. And I get to be even stronger with what I allow to define me.

There may be a few who read this and begin to weave a web about what the unflattering stories are and who may be telling them.

Is that so?

The better I know the fullness of what and who I am the less I am battered about by the stories of others. And the less I am battered about by the stories of others the less time I spend stewing in suffering.

So, instead of suffering I put my expanding liberation into words and share them with you. Without the possibility of unflattering stories being told this would never have been written.

And that is so.

Thursday, October 3, 2019

TALK IS CHEAP

The older I get and the longer I am treading a conscious spiritual path the more the old adage “talk is cheap” means to me.

It is common for we spiritual types to talk a lot about what we want to be true. We often convince ourselves that what we want to be true is in fact, true.

That does not mean, however, that it is.

Spiritual Truth is beyond what can be thought or talked about. Language is, however, what we have to work with. A big part of our evolution is hearing what seem to be new ideas. I say “seem to be new ideas” because wisdom and Knowing are already within us, just waiting to be awakened. So, we hear ideas that spark a memory and resonate within our beings. We begin to think and talk about these ideas. We parrot these ideas to others, and often pretend that they are true for us. Life will always show us where these concepts are in fact not true, which is a huge and important part of our integration. This for me was as shocking as it was humiliating. I would say I believed one thing, and then when I didn’t get my way or someone crossed me I would inadvertently reveal how in fact that belief was not an integrated reality.

In the words of a well-known televangelist, “ouch, hallelujah!” “br>
So talking about truth isn’t the same as living truth.

And so talk is cheap.


One of the most influential people in my life experience was my great-grandfather Charles. I adore that man to this day, though he passed away when I was fifteen.

Grandpa was by his own definition a man of his word. He died without understanding the need for written contracts or agreements. If he gave his word his word was law. I never knew him to ever violate or not come through with something he had said. Two of his sons, my grandfather included, never lived this way. Their word meant very little to them or to others. This never disturbed Grandpa Charles. It was his word and his agreements that mattered.

To Grandpa talk was not cheap.

I aspire to be like my great grandpa. I focus daily in letting truth be true in me. I ask to be shown where ideals are not yet integrated. Where concepts are yet to be embodied. I pray to relate consciously in and as Truth. I let my past humiliations continue to humble me. I am more and more committed to be the Word.

Though I am by vocation a wordsmith, I am tired of just talking about spiritual ideals. I am passionate about living them. I sense that perhaps in the not-to-distant future I will stop all this talking and become still and vibrant with what I am knowing to be true. I want to speak less in order to say more. I am becoming a man of my word, and so there is less to say.

Afterall: talk is cheap.

And truth is invaluable.