We are better than this.
Clearly not.
I have heard the declarative statement with which I begin this missive any number of times in just the past two years. No matter how many times I see or hear it the assessment continues to give me pause.
We are better than this.
In order to concur with this perception, I need to do some serious internal massaging. I have seen some really bad behavior in these many months of pandemic. Racially. Socially. Politically. Medically. Individually and collectively. Some really, really bad behavior.
I watch repeated examples of bad behavior and I hear the characterization that we are better than this.
So, if we are better than this than why are we behaving so badly?
I wholeheartedly agree that our potential is better than the bad behavior being exhibited. I also strongly believe that difficult times bring out either the best or the worst of our human nature. Each and everyone of us has the potential to shine brightly or to project strong and corrosive shadows. I am sure you have witnessed this in action whether or not you would frame it the way that I am. It is easier for me to see the scope of human behavior as evidence that indeed, we are better than this. And I am seeing how different individuals react very differently to the same outer circumstances. A pandemic has ravaged our world for nearly two years. Countless people have showed up courageously, selflessly, heroically in ways that have humbled and inspired me. There seem to be an almost equal number of people who have reacted to the collective tragedy with self-interest, indifference, and rebellious or righteous contributions that have left me seriously questioning whether or not we are really better than the behaviors are indicating.
One if the myriad gifts of these observations is that I really do want to show up as my best self. I want to be better than so many of the objectional behaviors I am seeing. I pray to understand how and why people react at their worst. I seek to emulate those who become stronger, more resilient when facing individual and collective challenges. I dedicate myself to living and giving and loving fuller out during these very trying times.
I want to be able to not say but to consistently demonstrate we are indeed better than this and this is what it looks like.
While it is frequently minimized hope is a superpower in difficult times. And I remain hopeful. I am hopeful that at the level of our potential we are indeed better than this unskillful and unfortunate behavior. I know deeply that belief fuels behavior, so beliefs must be changed in order to make any substantial change in how people act. Even while I question the validity of the notion that people are better than the behaviors they are exhibiting I hold hope that it will become a lived reality. I allow myself to learn from what I have been seeing. I learn from aversion, and I learn from inspiration. I am more than willing to see people as better than their behaviors. I am willing to lend compassionate response when I see what appears to be the worst in people’s attitudes and actions.
I am willing and even passionate about allowing the worst in others to bring out the best in me.
I guess I really do hold a hopeful place in my heart that we are indeed better than the ways we sometimes show up. I know contrast to be a diligent teacher. These times of collective darkness have been a perfect context for a demonstration of the light. That light has shined forth as the best of human potential. Those demonstrations continually give me hope. They repeatedly motivate me to be more. To respond with more understanding, compassion, tenderness.
The bad behavior I see is bringing out the best in me. And for that I am deeply grateful.
