This is the last day of my life.
Let me rephrase that.
This is the only day of my life.
Just typing those words opens something inside of me.
The something that is opening inside of me is not conceptual. It is not theoretical. It is not a happy sticker.
What is opening inside of me is not a notion in my head. What is opening inside of me is the reality of my heart.
This could well be the last day of my life. While not probable it is possible that this will be the day I leave the planet and this incarnation. The preparations I make for tomorrow will be for naught. The projections of a future will never come to pass. The time I spend in when-then time will be time I do not directly experience now-this.
While there is a possibility that this could be the last day of my life what is more certain is that this is the only day of my life.
I have come to deeply know that my entire life is happening right now.
That is the realization that opens inside of me when I allow for the full experience of it.
When I center myself fully in this moment wherever my attention goes, I remain here in now.
I look back and I do so from now.
I project ahead and I do so from now.
My first day of life is happening now.
My last day of life is happening now.
My entire life adventure is always happening now.
Seeing as how my past is happening now, I can change it based on how I remember and relate to it.
When I perceptually change my past the unpromised future automatically changes as well.
Past changing, future transforming, and I never, ever leave the now.
I do not remember my first breath. It is likely that I will not know when it is my very last breath. So, it behooves me to remember that I am breathing in this moment and that this breath is all I have.
Today I could live, and today, I could die. That felt reality is what opens within me as an invitation to live fully, freely, dynamically. This moment is the only moment I know I have.
What a supreme gift to know that. To live in and from it. To look back and forward from a context of first, last, always now.
I am grateful that I have an expanding perspective that knows there is more to living than regretting the past and fretting about the future. I am grateful to know that while I can take practical steps to insure, ensure, plan there is no guarantee I will ever initiate any of it. I am grateful to know that I can plan for tomorrow and still be fully here in today.
Since early on in my incarnation I have had this fear that I would get to the end of my life and regret how I lived it. That I would regret what I did and even more what I was too afraid to do. While most people avoid regret like a plague it was been a guiding force for me. I am conscious enough to realize that I in fact do have regrets. They are past, and so I compassionately look upon them. They are teachers that suggest how I might live today. I make amends to my regrets by being more fully intentional in how I show up in this day. Because this is it. Dress rehearsal is over. The show is happening now. I do not know when the final curtain will fall. So, I am giving it my all today. Now.
My entire life is happening now.
The regrets.
The amending of those regrets.
Properly framed this is the last day of my life.
In reality this is the only day of my life.
That opens something inside of me.
First, last, always my entire life is happening now.
And I am here to choose my experience.
My experience of now.
My experience of this.
Because now this is all that is.
