I was not born to get my way.
I have never been clearer about that fact.
I have also never been more at peace with it.
I am blessed to have spent most of my life aware that I am here on Divine assignment. I know and feel that I have a curriculum to fulfill that is broader and deeper than the surface details of my incarnation. As clear as I am about my Divine assignment it in no way diminishes the human experience I am also here to embody. I spent much of my youth not wanting to be human. I thought my humanity was a problem to be solved. Though it took a lot of digging to uncover it I unconsciously wanted to float above this earth realm as an ethereal being that barely possessed a body. Now I see and embrace that I will always be Spirit-Essence. I will not, however, always be incarnated. I am grateful I did not deny my way through this delicious opportunity.
So, the surface details of this incarnation are both for the delight of being in embodied reality, and they are symbolically in service of my Soul’s highest unfolding. Each and every facet of my life has meaning and purpose in terms of my personal becoming. It all belongs. I am the one that is applying the meaning and purpose which is where things get really interesting.
I was not born to get my way.
Thirty-five plus years ago I was introduced to New Thought spirituality and metaphysics. While I would not have framed it this way at the time, I thought I had finally found a way to get my way. I thought that intention and Universal principle applied properly would allow me to manipulate my manifest reality. I thought that I had finally come upon the secret long before the movie. I was told that all it took was a vision board and positive thinking. I was promised that affirmations and persistent visioning would give me what I wanted.
Not.
Did I mention that I was not born to get my way?
Now, I readily acknowledge that I did not apply these magic-making techniques perfectly. Not nearly. I was also not taught of the alchemical dynamics that are an integral part of the creative process. I did not know at the time that every affirmative statement sets in motion a process whereby we are shown everything in our consciousness that is blocking the manifestation of that which we are affirming. Not knowing this I thought my personal magic wand was broken. I affirmed abundance and lost money. I vision-boarded success and lost jobs. I tried thinking positively only to get mired in negative commentary.
I was not getting my way.
Now this is where those of you with well-working magic wands want to correct my mistaken perceptions and tell me how the same tools helped you to get your way.
Kindly save that for your own blogs.
My point in sharing this is that my journey is via a different way forward. I have to think that there are others who are having a similar experience. While I know that Principle is Principle and works the same way for all I feel equally sure that sure-fired manifestation is not the curriculum for all beings. Living a life where you most frequently get your way does not equate to doing it right. I am fairly convinced that mastery starts right where the magic wand stops.
It is my particular path to learn, grow, mature by not getting my way. Now, I am not saying exclusively. And I am not framing myself as a victim to this. I was not born to be Job. I do, though, currently see more clearly than ever that it is my vocational path to learn mastery in the face of not getting my way. Life has most often not gone my way. I have done more than my share of rumbling with that. And my rumbling has led me to the humbling realization that central to my evolution is to wakefully relate and to come to peace with not getting my way. With not getting what I want. With not being able to control circumstances, situations, or other people. No matter now hard I tried I could not force life to do what I wanted, when I wanted.
And I am more because of it.
I have known great frustration in this lifetime. I have known depths of grief, and explosions of anger. I have placed demands upon life, and I have pounded my chest when I could not control. I pushed and pushed my preferences. And largely to no avail.
Then came the day when I knew I was not born to get my way.
I was born to be the way.
The way of the Tao is the way of the way. It refers to a way of relating. The relating is not controlling, manipulating, or demanding. The relating is accepting what is, as it is. It understands that the manifest realm is only in service of the unfolding Soul. It is the way of the open heart and spacious mind. It is an unconditional yes in a world so often screaming no. The Tao is not governed by the outer. The interior is primal and priority. Beingness is the way. Becoming is the way. Relating responsively is the way. These ways are consistent whether or not we get our way in the world.
I celebrate knowing that I was not born to get my way.
It is a great thing to know that as I most often have not.
My Soul curriculum is about mastering how I relate when I am once again not getting my way. Being clear about that has awakened my relationship to the circumstantial realm. It has largely freed me from situational governance. I am actually able to giggle when I see it happening again. Not always. But more often than not.
I was not born to get my way.
I was born to be the way.
And a wondrous adventure it has been.
