I don’t know why the rapid passage of time continues to surprise me but indeed it does. It seems as though I just celebrated the great possibility of a new calendar year and now it almost half completed. The promise of 2012 seems especially pregnant to me, and the pains of contraction and expansion most profound. If in the past I have been able to suppress what my Soul is seeking to express more fully and passionately I am not able to squelch it now. The Universe has me at full attention and is giving total disregard to my discomfort. I am surrounded by synchronicities that only the most obtuse could miss. I am at a stage in my emergence where the collision of my fears with my greatest potentialities is keeping me in an internal tension that will not be denied. I know beyond knowing that what sometimes feels like breakdown is breakthrough of incredible proportion. I carefully walk the tightrope that is strung above the abyss of my past limits, fears, failures, and regrets. In order to keep my balance I must stay focused in a forward direction. I must consciously place one foot in front of the other. I cannot become distracted by the egoic chatter of the surface mind. I cannot become entranced by the projections I see before me, or the naysayers who warn me of what amount to their own past-based fears. I must be vigilant and diligent. I must stay internally directed and heartfully navigated. I must listen within as intimately as if my life depended upon the directions I am hearing.
I dance between the perception that everything is perfect exactly as it is, and there is so much more that I am called to be. Mediocrity is a quicksand that threatens to pull me under. I know that there is more for me to be and I am committed to uncovering that greater potential. My passion for Truth is a fire that if left contained will burn me up and smoke me out. My greatest gifts are yet to be given. I know that to be true. I can feel the velocity moving and growing within me. These gifts must be celebrated, extended, and expressed. They are the reason for my incarnation, and to hold them back would be to refuse to live. I have always known that there was something in me yet not of me that was meant to be given to the masses. Numbers are not the point. Limitlessness is. The stronger the felt-connection to the One Source G-awed of my Being the greater the need to actively live and to give that Source. G-awed is a verb in this earthly realm or it simply is not G-awed. It is a heart that beats and flows forth love with every impulse, every response, and every interaction. It is a love that is all inclusive and ever-expanding. This Source Love is leading me to be all that I meant to be. It is prompting me, cajoling me, encouraging me, and affirming me. It is an infallible GPS though it seems to be playfully hiding the destination. It is a journey to the fully here and now. It is a journey of self revelation and magnified expression. With every moment and every mile marker it whispers “more, my Beloved; there is always, ever more.”
And so in this halfway mark of 2012 it is mine to simply say yes. To feel openly into the present moment and to receptively welcome the gift that it contains. It is mine to own and to relish this life that I have been given. I am drinking deeply from the well of the One Life, and I am gratefully serving of that elixir to others I am led to serve. I pray to be a responsible steward of the One Power that is coursing through me. I allow my presence to be a Light, my power to be a torch. Whatever time I have left I give as a consecration, a testimony to the Power of the One Source as evidenced in one human life.
All that I can be, my G-awed. All that I can be.
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